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Summary

Dave Gray's "Liminal Thinking" presents a framework for creating change through understanding and reframing beliefs. The core concept revolves around the "limen" or threshold—boundaries where change naturally occurs.

Gray argues that beliefs are not objective truths but constructed models of reality that shape our perception through layers of attention, theories, judgments, and perception. The book outlines six fundamental principles about beliefs and nine practical principles for working with them. Central to the methodology is creating "safe space"—psychological environments where people can share vulnerabilities without judgment.

Gray emphasizes that emotional needs drive behavior more than reason, and unmet emotional needs trigger fight-or-flight responses. The most profound changes come from questioning governing beliefs—those deeply tied to identity and self-worth. Liminal thinking is less about having the right answers and more about developing the capacity to hold multiple perspectives loosely while remaining open to revision.

Liminal Thinking

Limen = threshold
threshold defines two things but does not belong to any of them
boundaries give life structure but often are convenient fictions
change happens at the boundaries of things
some roles being inherently liminal—coach, therapist, teacher, consultant
agility "liminal moments"—falling asleep, waking up → hypnagogia
think of a threshold as a door of opportunity
Liminal thinking—the art of creating change by understanding, shaping & reframing beliefs

6 Principles Follow—Beliefs About Beliefs

#1 Beliefs Are Models

Gray: "Reality as a whole is unknowable"
Reality is like an elephant from "the elephant and blind men"
beliefs are similarly wrong as maps or models
beliefs are not facts but constructions
"which are like fingers pointing to some aspects of reality, don't mistake 'em for reality"
"the obvious is not obvious"

#2 Beliefs Are Created

we band together in "obvious clubs" that defend our competing versions of reality
human ability to perceive the world in ways beyond 40 bps?
expands what you sense, but don't do notice
in essence we simply make it (societal judgement)
to reduce its complexity to make it easier to understand
it is easy to confuse reality with beliefs
we do reinforce our beliefs by talking to others about what they believe form the fundamental mental model for ppl to navigate the world
the space between reality and beliefs in a Belief Pyramid IS liminal space. If those happen inside each of us, we don't talk about those and four layers are invisible to others
Beliefs create & share a world
a belief IS a story in your head that triggers a cause-effect chain, like a recipe or a rule for action
if you have a need, then you look for a belief that provides a rule to get the result you want
beliefs are usually in a form: "If X, then Y"

Learning Loop—The Basic Way How We Learn

Needs: "How do I feel?"
Beliefs: "What are my options?"
Actions: "What will I do?"
Results: "What happened & why?"

connected w/ the pyramid of beliefs
beliefs cause behavior
doom loop—punishing, reinforces the behavior & makes one stick more to it
delight loop—rewarding builds on top of good behavior

#3 The More We Reinforce Our Habits & Beliefs, the More They Become Invisible

"The way it is" is created by someone & therefore if someone created it, someone can change it

beliefs help us to navigate & survive, but also limit us
liminal thinking aims at identifying limiting beliefs
believed constraints can often be artificial
Beliefs defend themselves
people like stability → once a belief is formed, we have tendencies to reinforce so that it creates pathways
People rarely test ideas for external validity when they don't have internal coherence

#6 Beliefs Are Tied to Identity

governing belief—a belief that is deeply tied to identity or feeling of self-worth
the deeper in one's belief system, the more governing beliefs we can find
the deeper it is, the more it defends itself!
Questioning your governing beliefs can lead to profound change
governing beliefs form the foundation of your (version of) reality. They create feelings of self-worth, group identity and social stability. They give order and meaning to life

The Johari Window

problems most resistant to change are system problems
if you're part of the system, you're part of the problem
→ Your biggest blindspot is yourself, so you need to start evaluating your contribution to the problem

9 Practices

Practice #1: Empty Your Cup

goal: leaders supplement the information that's coming to them through official channels with a lot of walking around and sense making on the ground
In order to learn sth new, you must empty part of your knowledge/beliefs so they don't get in the way
"Beginner's mind"
opening your mind, willingness to be a newbie; your brain is the essence of liminal thinking
you can't learn new things w/o letting go old things

Practice #2: Create Safe Space

if a meeting environment is not a safe space, ppl will bullshit you and try to tell you what you want to hear—not what they think
reason does not make people act, emotions do!
ppl reveal their beliefs casually, emotions can be trickier; by revealing emotions ppl make themselves vulnerable
needs are not only invisible but often hurt & usually they're hidden to prevent being vulnerable
If emotional needs are not met—the brain acts as if the body was starving → that leads to activation of fight-or-flight
The SCARF model as a checklist of emotional needs:
- Status—does the person feel recognized/needed & where?
- Certainty—does the person feel confident about what's coming?
- Autonomy—does the person feel like they have control over their life?
- Relatedness—feeling of belonging, does represent their group?
- Fairness—feeling of being treated fairly
people need to feel that they matter
when people are emotionally starving, they come up with conspiracy & start playing games
emotional needs → beliefs formation → habits

In Conflicting Situations—Try to Ask a Question:

"Do I truly understand the need?"
Sharing food & drinks is the ultimate safe space catalyst
Trust has to be earned & it takes a lot of time
Safe space does not mean brainlessly agree with things but allow sharing without judgement

Practice #4: Triangulate & Validate

most people don't test their theories about other people because it's a potential bubble burst
Triangulation—the practice of developing multiple viewpoints, theories that you can compare, contrast, combine & validate
cultivate as many theories as you can and hold them loosely; don't get too attached to any of them

Practice #5: Ask Questions, Make Connections

asking for hopes, dreams, fears and frustrations we can reveal the latent needs & goals of ppl

Practice #6: Disrupt Routines

if you find yourself stuck in any kind of recurring pattern, try something random — anything you can do that throws the brain off the rails is an opportunity for a new perspective

Practice #7: Act As If in the Here & Now

Gray: "Action may not always bring happiness, but there is no happiness without action"
If you can form a hypothesis, you don't need to necessarily believe it's true in order to test it → #design research
→ you can simply act as if it was true and see what happens
Sometimes single loop learning is not enough—double loop learning helps to challenge your own beliefs and trying on new ones
w/each new set of beliefs comes a new set of opportunities

Practice #8: Make Sense With Stories

stories are the primary ways we make sense of experiences
give ppl facts w/o a story and they will create a story to make sense of the facts
The best way to promote a new or different belief is not w/ facts, but w/ a story

Practice #9: Evolve Yourself

change → the process & the attempt is the key & you are contributing to create the future you want
the biggest barrier to change is fear
often most constraints preventing change are in your mind
What helps is not being "results" oriented & being less personally attached to the outcome
Sometimes to create new structures, the old ones must be destroyed so the blocks can be recombined differently
the world is not static → our beliefs must evolve
liminal thinking is a way of navigating change by opening the door to ambiguity & uncertainty